Wants...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ohh..!! wat a disturbing day it was.. !! Loads of things went through my mind. Such a state of mind really pisses me off...i so want to get away from  it but unknowingly or rather knowingly i drag myself deep into a chain of thoughts coming to me back to back. So now i am here to just pen down things going through me. Last time the aftermath of writing a blog of my feelings was tremendously poignant.  

         The morning..!! another girl came...n it was now...my turn to listen to my flaws..!! comparison..!! people do kid a lot but sometimes, it gives you a pinch and today it happened. i tried to console and clear my head but still then.... it left it stains. Why do i want people to just praise me for whatever i do. Why do such small things swings me down !!

Any ways it was just an incidence. The point i wish to raise is that i am so dependent on people.. for my happiness ..Why don’t i realise its just me , only me . there is nothing that is mine in this world.. nothing not a single thing . i endeavour for people to be the way i want..!! what shit ya..!! What shit.  I am talking about people , i myself, damned my own feelings , my own thoughts are not permanent n i spoil my day bothering about others , their actions , there mere words.. what are words . they truly are nothing.. someone truly says there is nothing in words..... And my habit . m so outspoken. That without revealing wat is going inside me , m so stucked that i just keep loosing my moments. I got to be strong enough to talk to myself , compos-mentis...i should say. Right now i got a very strong feeling that i would love to share.(lolz see m again saying ..!! may be speaking more and introspection are two different things ...ahh ..i am so confused.. !!)  neways ..I’l try to stand alone.. be strong ..self confident..independent....lucid... i’l try not to loose a single beautiful second that i am blessed with. And The most amazing loveliest thought that i got a chance to realise today is “that there is nothing that we cannot smile for”.. everything made by Him is so pure and beautiful that it gives you no reason that we stop smiling.

I hope i carry it within me so intensively the way it is right now..!! glad to feel it....loved it .. loving it.. JJ